Coach

Reflections on the human condition

I have spent my entire 19 year career as a professional doing one thing: Guiding human beings on their exploration of the physical realm.

The human condition fascinates me. How can one person strive to run hundreds of miles or stand on summits of the tallest mountains on earth, while an identically created being cannot muster enough motivation to get off the couch and put down the video game controller? What makes certain athletes succeed and others fail? Why do you do what you do, and why don’t you do what you don’t?

Internally, I am constantly exploring these concepts as I watch my athletes navigate training and life. I learn and have learned as I absorb their experiences. I have an ever evolving vision of what it means to be human as a result of being a small piece of so many human journeys. It is something I am forever grateful for.

I believe we underestimate what it means to be human. There is something inherently different about those who “do” and those who “do not” that we do not understand.

Environment shapes us. The people, places and things that surround you will always impact the way you express your being, but it is not the defining component. There is something rooted into each of us the moment we enter this world which acts as our true north. What we are is not always learned or shaped…it just sometimes….is.

And thats fascinating to me.

There exists patterns in actions, traits and personality types of the people I work with, which in itself, is incredible given the complexity of our being. How can something so unfathomably intricate share a likeness to any of the other billions of collections of stardust roaming this planet? It is, the human condition.

I see ego. These individuals come to me to work together boisterously. I hear of what they’ve done and what they will do, both typically exaggerated and to some degree untrue. When ego arrives, the training is often seen as their missing piece. In the mind of ego, they have done everything right, they are just missing something they did not have access to prior to me. They need one key that will complete their nearly perfect being and it should slide in easy and turn the lock quietly because, after all, they have almost arrived already on their own. They are achievement oriented only… they want finish lines and summit photos and the glory that goes along with it. They see “arriving” as one more race, one more performance away…and when they realize that reality says otherwise…they often falter, because how could you not when you recognize the driving force behind your “why” is superficial and less impactful than you thought? One of the most reliably consistent times I see individuals go off program, is immediately after a stellar performance at a large objective, because upon completion, they realize they have not arrived as they had hoped they would. They have not cut deep enough internally in their examination of their self to have their actions mean more than a “result”.

It is my job to help show ego that there is more.

I also see depth. Right away, the interactions with depth feels different than with ego. I hear of their experiences, not outcomes. I hear of how they feel, how they are impacted by exertion, what they desire to become as a human and how they hope the training will help shape them. Often they listen more than they speak, as they are here to learn and to absorb what I have to give. With depth, each discussion, each week of training, each interaction, feels warmer and more meaningful. Curiosity is a common theme, they want to learn, understand and evolve. They ask and receive, they tilt their vision to see things from all angles and apply the concepts they learn to greater aspects of life. Depth takes the simple act of training and turns it into a tool to impact how they experience life. They are what they are, deep. They succeed, far more often than ego, because you need space to be fluid and adaptable. If your only measure of success is a singular target you must hit, you will fail, often. But if you approach each moment, each training session, each bit of life, with contingencies and open mindedness and the ability to pivot, twist and turn, you will win more than you will lose.

It is my job to nurture depth, to stoke the flame that already burns, so they can illuminate more of themselves.

Working with human beings who wish to do exceptional things is an honor I do not ever take for granted. I often scroll through my “athlete wins” files, pouring over almost two decades worth of the hundreds, if not thousands of people I have worked with over my career. I see the obvious…endless smiling faces at finish lines, on mountain tops, with medals and PR’s and enough “I can’t believe I just did that” messages to blur your vision. But I also see wedding photos, degrees being earned, multi-year sobriety coins, pregnancy announcements, messages about starting therapy to address life trauma and every other major life event you can imagine. It often brings a tear to my eye.

Because for me, I don’t really care what my legacy is as a “coach”. I don’t really care how many 100 mile finish lines I get people to and I don’t really care how many PR’s my athletes set. What I do hope for is that my legacy as a small dim guiding light is expressed in the people I work with living deeply meaningful and fulfilled lives. I do care that the time I spend coaching someone improves their overall life experience, even by a fraction of a percent. I hope that the lessons I have learned as an athlete, a coach and as a human can be imparted on those who trust me with a small part of their existence. I hope the days my athletes spend chasing those finish lines and PR’s can translate to larger aspects of their lives and open their hearts (and minds) to what is truly possible for them in life.

For all those I have worked with, do work with and will work with, I love you all, deeply.

Onward, Always.