Default: Human
I recently unintentionally entered into a pretty deep water conversation about society as a whole with someone who had diametrically different viewpoints than me. I typically avoid these situations as I am a firm believer in the fact that my beliefs are exactly that, beliefs, and that for the large majority of issues in this world, I cannot pretend to know the answers. And neither can anyone else. I also believe the large majority of the most confidently outspoken are unwilling to listen, learn and change, and so I save my life energy.
What was shocking to me was hearing someone else speak so surely and confidently about other people’s realities. From immigration to gender, sexuality and beyond, I listened to this person speak with utter and complete confidence that they understood another human beings lived experience. About what version of life was right and wrong, about how it should be. And in their tone, there was no room for outside perspective or evolution of thought.
And I realized in that moment, how prevalent in all areas of society this problem exists.
I wrote this on my Instagram the other day, and it’s relevant here.
My life has been made infinitely better over the past year by consciously changing the lens through which I view others.
I am a deeply flawed man who has lived seasons of life that would make it easy for others to attach negative labels to my name. And yet, I always have held onto the hope that outsiders would give me the grace of “being”. That they would view me gently, as what we all are, beautifully imperfect while trying to navigate this incomprehensibly complex existence. Mostly, I hoped they would view me simply, as human.
I’ve aggressively adopted this viewpoint when I look at those around me.
Actions and words have consequences. Mine have and yours should. But that does not give leeway to blindly pass judgement and label another as more/less than, because we are all equally adept at falling short.
If you’ve spent one breath of the past year hating another group of humans for the color of their skin, the language they speak, their “status” or identity, who and how they love or their political/religious beliefs, you need to look yourself in the mirror and ask what parts of you make you so unhappy that you’re driven to the blind degradation of others.
Disagree, be different, debate, but never hate. Because you don’t have the answers either and are just as flawed as the ones you look down on.
The next time you lock eyes with someone your past self would have considered inferior to yourself, see your own flawed existence in their face and lead with love, because it truly does always win.
No politician, leader or celebrity can change the divide between us all. Only intentional, individual growth, at scale, can and will.
Mind your own fucking business. If you’re so bored with this life that you need to use your bandwidth to rage about someone else’s existance, that is a problem only the mirror can solve.
Open eyes and open hearts.
Onwards, always.